3. For the third gripe of Christmas I will give to thee: Neighbors crappy Christmas lights.
Christmas lights are actually one of my favorite parts of the whole season. When it comes time to set up the tree and other decorations, I enjoy heading outside and getting all the lights up on the outside of the house. I like driving through the streets of town and seeing other people’s houses decorated as well. It can be beautiful.
But, then there are displays like this, and every neighborhood has one—one wonderful family that ruins it all for the whole block. I know, because this video was taken in my own neighborhood:
About a mile from my house is an area of a few blocks where all the houses are decorated with a common theme. One of the highlights of the season is driving down that block. It is peaceful. It is serene. There are houses with lighted reindeer, houses with lights on almost every square inch of the roof, and there are homes with cardboard cutouts of snoopy and inflatables all over the lawn.
You know what you won’t see in that neighborhood? Blinking lights. That’s right. No one has ever said, “Wow, that house with all the blinking lights really makes me feel all warm inside and peaceful.”
The blinking lights send a different message entirely: “Gamble Here!” When anyone turns down the main street to my neighborhood, the first sight they see is much less O Holy Night and far more Live Dancing Girls.
There is a reason that light red blink-inducing bulb comes in a hermetically sealed bag when open your new stringlights. It is a warning. If you want your lights to cause seizures, keep it inside your own house, and stop terrorizing your neighborhood.–Ryan